The Emancipation of Dad

Slept all evening and woke up at 12 am..Fantastic time to blog i guess. Its been a while, i have had my own personal battles to face, ive even seen my kids a few times at the local contact centre.

Like the studious person I am, I have sat back a little and taken in my experiences, essentially the whole separation period has been a learning process. Being irrevocably thrown in to the family court lions den i have learnt that im not very good with solicitors or with contact centres, or with police! I wonder why this is..I wonder why despite getting exact precise information from some of the top activists in family law reform i still went ahead and did what i wasnt supposed to do? I have come to the conclusion that its because I am  a ‘glutton for punishment-extraordinaire’ and boy oh boy does separation from your children and the battle that this besets stroke that punishments ego.

Now i have to look at me in order to see what is wrong with myself.. Possibly the hardest thing any human being can really do. I guess its for the best, i will be a better person for it, i dont blame anybody for my shortcomings. Fact is ive smoked cannabis most of my adult life, and despite the fact that ive never really believed the hype about its negative impacts it has certainly stopped me from seeing my kids and they are far more important to me than anything set to ease my own personal mind.

Ive always refuted the fact that i am  depressed and always said ‘well, actually im oppressed and i would like some anti oppression pills please!’ The only good anti oppressant is green and it grows out the ground. However its illegal, and therefore i am a criminal as long as i smoke it, therefore until i give up i wont see my kids outside of a contact centre…Seems like  a good time to be self reflective.

Ive never ever pressed this fact to people that dont know me i know it isnt socially acceptable and i have tried to live my life as normally as possible. However if it means i cant see my kids outside this said contact centre then i will have to change that by reforming myself. I wont smoke anymore, that life is over for me..Now i have to find something to replace the need to be unoppressed, time to release the shackles and emancipate Dad 🙂

If anyone thinks that  me giving up smoking cannabis will in anyway reform me and turn me into one of your sheeple clones, i am  afraid you are very very much mistaken, you see smoking the stuff has in many ways pacified me, ive always felt that i can live the shitty life i have led without too much need to be judgemental in my own dogmatic views of society.

Ive stopped now and im already beginning to feel the power coursing through me. I can already see that what i could do to change myself will eventually be used and held in evidence against my doubters and this year will be the start of some real changes. Not just for me personally but to the world as a whole.  The changes have begun right here right now for me. I am seeking help to replace my addiction with a newer healthier lifestyle, i know i cant afford any more slip ups (they hairstrand test you these days) So its out with the old me and in with the new!

Now as a non-smoker of the demon weed i can be condescendary to my former fellow smokers and tokers..dont worry i wont judge you. I still shake my head with disbelief that people would for a second think that alcohol was a better drug than cannabis..because believe me, it isnt..most of my problems occur when I  have a drink..when i was stoned all you would have was a giggling mess, i know what i preferred, however it is not acceptable these days and it is something which I have to accept.

All i will say on the matter and i know many will agree with me..Cannabis is a soft drug in comparison to any other illegal substance, nearly everyone i know smokes it or has smoked it at some point in their  lives. For christ sake it needs to be allowed back into society in an industrialised manner to stop A) the loss of taxable income which is instead put into criminal underworld to be spent on illegal gains
B) To allow perfectly healthy people who have been alienated from smoking/selling it to have a respectable position in society..The missing piece of Big Society = The unalienation of  the poorest members .
C) So that those unable to smoke the stuff due to personal mental health conditions to be known, so they are aware that smoking the strongest forms is a risk to their health, and they stop stabbing themselves in the eyes ..etc (a number likely so small, that it is the true reason that no accurate research has been done  on the subject).

Anyway enough on the subject, it is closed to me now. I can only hope that somebody somewhere reads this and uses my questions to better effect than i will have done.

So thats where i am, despite the fact that I hadnt known until family court what the precise reason for my loss of contact with my own flesh and blood children and hence the year of pain i have suffered, its probably taken around 3 months of  inner struggles to get to where i am on the issue. To actually stop fighting against what the courts ordered me to do but im there now ..reformed almost emancipated, ready to Rock and Roll off the dole and back to society. Guess what nothing has changed i am still gonna tell anyone who gets in my way to fuck off..just this time it will be as an emancipated Daddy with his kids back under his care, where they should be.

5 thoughts on “The Emancipation of Dad

  1. Jon Doe says:

    Its ok bud, In my country its prescribed for depression and more. Argue the fact that it is proven to help medicate through scientific study. It isnt a harm to your chilld to smoke Marijuana. Ciggarettes are far more worse and unhealthy for you due to the toxic constituants added to the tobaco leaves prior to packaging. Also the medical use of the Marijuanja is spreading to many other countries aswell.
    It would be posh if they keep your children away because of medicating yourself. It is a fact that marijuana is no harm to any child…

  2. timmattock says:

    Unfortunately arguing these facts in a family court is impossible, i have to conform and have accepted this. Nothing like a good family court ducking to purge you of your inner demons haha

  3. Simon says:

    You’re better off without smoking really. It dulls you mental accuracy in the long run. yes its can expand you mind but its already done that. Being straight is better and you van still tune into a more open minded way of thinking becuase you’ve already been there – looked oputside the squre. So don’t worry you won;t turn into a sheep. Leave it in your grab bag of experience.

    as for not accepting advice well let me tell you everybody suffers from this in Family Law scenarios because the advice is crazy …it assumes that the FC is a despotic bunch of lunatics and child abusers. which is 100% correct. Tehy’ve got your children and you don’t respect their authority. They do it because they are despots and because its extraordinarily profitable. Plus the more you resist the more they will oppress you.

    Its like those jews that were indignent at the Nazi gards. getting killed for the most trifling of reasons.

    Natural justice is incredibly important to us on a profound and instinctive level. Denying it makes people feel extraordinarily powerful.

  4. timmattock says:

    Hi Simon, i think the hardest thing to do is listen to others advise, even when you know they are right, and then the realisation that you have to change the small minority issue whilst ignoring the real ones because your issues are not socially acceptable in comparison is a tough personal challenge.
    I do like the fact i have mentally decided to put the smoking chapter behind me, i guess in many ways it was really beginning to hold me back and yes focus was great for about 3 seconds at a time 😛
    As for the way that i have been judged..Harsh it may be but in many ways the fact that it was holding me back from being with my kids, the fact that i have over come this issue so far is startlingly liberating.
    Now i can concentrate on time with my kids and looking at helping to reform family justice so long as the smoking wasnt just one of many objections thrown up to stop this being the inevitable outcome (which i sadly suspect in many ways)
    Being a fairly goal driven person and someone who wishes nothing more than to start changing my life around i hope this is the indicator for self reform. I have never been a judgemental person on others and hate to be judged myself now that it has been done, and the fact that i am still standing is testament to the fact that I can go to the next stages.
    Now its time for the courts to recognise this, stop judging me and allow my children back into my life properly..Woah betide them if they continue to get in my way. 🙂

  5. While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.